Why do we trust what politians say!! We no longer live in a democracy!! Its just one great big farce lok what theyve done with all the mothers and childrens details, What where they fucking playing at. I think the time is due for a massive upheavel of the system we survive in. Younger goverments with a different attitude and focus on life. when i saw gordon brown face today on news tonight all i saw was red anger...
he isnt someone to be trusted none of them are to be honest!!! but a change is as good as a rest DONT YOU THINK!!!
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
Tuesday, 30 October 2007
sorry!!!!!
You know half the time im out of control and the other im numb and comfortable....i recently been having nightmares, some more nastier than normal!! these put me in strange moods which leave me with nothing but thoughts in my head i dont like to be with others when this goes on. But other the last week ive had good days been in control of any ANGER ive felt not towards other people. only to myself.
any way ive just been distracted by my owns thoughts, with fleetwood mac on radio...what a moment!!!!!
listen she said with envy and grieve in mind, opeen your thoughts and every page will turn to
gold.
i opened both eyes and watched every curve, as it chased shadows across the floor, one thought was shared and i felt my pain fall away as an avalanche of emotions. she held my head in her arms and cried my pain away, her tears like sweet poison desolving my fear.
she whispererd in my ear "im hear to save you, but first you must do something in return" and with a long breath i swallowed hard as if no action was needed other than surrender!
"you need to kiss me with all you have and nothing more....ive dreamt of this moment all my life and until i met you none had any faces"
of all the people in the world i have met someone like you............to be continued
any way ive just been distracted by my owns thoughts, with fleetwood mac on radio...what a moment!!!!!
listen she said with envy and grieve in mind, opeen your thoughts and every page will turn to
gold.
i opened both eyes and watched every curve, as it chased shadows across the floor, one thought was shared and i felt my pain fall away as an avalanche of emotions. she held my head in her arms and cried my pain away, her tears like sweet poison desolving my fear.
she whispererd in my ear "im hear to save you, but first you must do something in return" and with a long breath i swallowed hard as if no action was needed other than surrender!
"you need to kiss me with all you have and nothing more....ive dreamt of this moment all my life and until i met you none had any faces"
of all the people in the world i have met someone like you............to be continued
Monday, 24 September 2007
thats where the light switch is!!!!!
Ello all this is my latest of blogg's been sitting in dark for so long almost forgot where light switch!!!
My short time out of my own personal prison i seem to keep getting stuck in. i seem to be on parole.....and going to take full advantage of it thats how i deal with it most of time..Still solitude isnt the best thing for me, i certainly need it though. ive had some major advance in dealing with my emotions just letting do what they wanna do and reckonising when they get to strong then im more prepared for it..still most of the time i just seem to fall down pick myself up fall down etc etc..oh well what doesnt kill me makes me stronger i guess.
anyway i wrote "war of soldiers" when i was day dreaming and getting stuck with my politcal views having arguments with myself. i have so many opinions they clash. its was written for the soldiers who are currently serving for there country. fighting someones else's war dont get me wrong i think war can be a good thing, i honestly think that this isnt war its suicide. come on people we should start to think of ourselves and question what we hold value in. which is the lives of all humans on this already strained planet..
there are many titles for this poem "war of soldiers" was more in thinking its no longer a soldiers war.
"Colluseum" Is what it title suggests about rome and empire and how it was flattened within a day sad story, But very poinyant i think for our time today.. i beleive in history repeats itself.
Anyway enough for now..
speak soon!!!!
My short time out of my own personal prison i seem to keep getting stuck in. i seem to be on parole.....and going to take full advantage of it thats how i deal with it most of time..Still solitude isnt the best thing for me, i certainly need it though. ive had some major advance in dealing with my emotions just letting do what they wanna do and reckonising when they get to strong then im more prepared for it..still most of the time i just seem to fall down pick myself up fall down etc etc..oh well what doesnt kill me makes me stronger i guess.
anyway i wrote "war of soldiers" when i was day dreaming and getting stuck with my politcal views having arguments with myself. i have so many opinions they clash. its was written for the soldiers who are currently serving for there country. fighting someones else's war dont get me wrong i think war can be a good thing, i honestly think that this isnt war its suicide. come on people we should start to think of ourselves and question what we hold value in. which is the lives of all humans on this already strained planet..
there are many titles for this poem "war of soldiers" was more in thinking its no longer a soldiers war.
"Colluseum" Is what it title suggests about rome and empire and how it was flattened within a day sad story, But very poinyant i think for our time today.. i beleive in history repeats itself.
Anyway enough for now..
speak soon!!!!
colliseum
a taste of blood
a taste of fire
my eyes caught on desire
entrance of heroes
exit of demons
cast your magic
never tell
i scream
i scream
Pure agony i feel as i curse
a rage from ethereal
no dragons here
no immortal near
all over all gone
the silenced cheer
from a face full of fear
a taste of fire
my eyes caught on desire
entrance of heroes
exit of demons
cast your magic
never tell
i scream
i scream
Pure agony i feel as i curse
a rage from ethereal
no dragons here
no immortal near
all over all gone
the silenced cheer
from a face full of fear
War of soldiers
See the colour of rain
to catch the last train
late at night
all eyes out, for the fright
fancy politicians continue on
Only to discover its all gone
to late to fast one last breath
to save us all
Paint a pretty soldier
bleeding from heart
his enemy dug down deep
to catch the last train
late at night
all eyes out, for the fright
fancy politicians continue on
Only to discover its all gone
to late to fast one last breath
to save us all
Paint a pretty soldier
bleeding from heart
his enemy dug down deep
and far apart
guns ablaze as skin replaces
a frosty glaze
catch my bullet
catch my bullet
Friday, 31 August 2007
My 7 year old son's blog
i like meat and chocolate mint too
its best to take a chocolate bar
its light as a crisp and chocolate as it is
that is all i like made out of chocolate.
take it more love it alot take it as a bar of chocolate
strawberry chocolate is the best make it Be the best
it is definitely the best its is differenter than the rest.
i see a worm in the mud that is very very very hungry
i get it some mud for it to eat today
yes i picked ate it some more.
SIGNED THE DUDE
its best to take a chocolate bar
its light as a crisp and chocolate as it is
that is all i like made out of chocolate.
take it more love it alot take it as a bar of chocolate
strawberry chocolate is the best make it Be the best
it is definitely the best its is differenter than the rest.
i see a worm in the mud that is very very very hungry
i get it some mud for it to eat today
yes i picked ate it some more.
SIGNED THE DUDE
THE BIG MOVE
Well not been on blog for aggggessssssss!!!!!
Have been on pills now for over a 7 weeks '20mg citalopram'. Its made me feel very doped up thoughts have slowed down during the day but race in the evening.. wish I didn't feel the way I do but its something I coming more to terms with . finally moved out of flat that has been the biggest and worst time of my life, alot of wasted energy has gone in to that place. Although with the exceptions of the times with my son.
have also started to think about what I want to do next with my life and one of the biggest things I have come up with is a career in music whether it be in a shop or a recording studio. Animals are also a big thing, have been looking into voluntary work with r.s.p.c.a....or some kind of animal rescue place. I think one of my problems is my anger issues, I think its scary for people to witness and I'm sick of it. to be really honest and scaring the people I love most isn't what I'm about
Have been on pills now for over a 7 weeks '20mg citalopram'. Its made me feel very doped up thoughts have slowed down during the day but race in the evening.. wish I didn't feel the way I do but its something I coming more to terms with . finally moved out of flat that has been the biggest and worst time of my life, alot of wasted energy has gone in to that place. Although with the exceptions of the times with my son.
have also started to think about what I want to do next with my life and one of the biggest things I have come up with is a career in music whether it be in a shop or a recording studio. Animals are also a big thing, have been looking into voluntary work with r.s.p.c.a....or some kind of animal rescue place. I think one of my problems is my anger issues, I think its scary for people to witness and I'm sick of it. to be really honest and scaring the people I love most isn't what I'm about
Tuesday, 7 August 2007
An afternoon at the beach
Pebbles and sand meet
and take a stand
A voice rushes in
Falls on broken skin
Gaps fall where angels stood tall
on empty ships I knew nothing at all
Sails past with wishes empty on broken glass
Turn the mast and chase to face your past
Destiny will bite until you turn through
A pleasure to see, pages burnt askew
and take a stand
A voice rushes in
Falls on broken skin
Gaps fall where angels stood tall
on empty ships I knew nothing at all
Sails past with wishes empty on broken glass
Turn the mast and chase to face your past
Destiny will bite until you turn through
A pleasure to see, pages burnt askew
Monday, 6 August 2007
JUST A QUICK SCRIBBLE
Started on my pills yesterday feel a bit washed out on them, have been told that it will get better although im not sure, wont know unless i try. better than feeling the way i do.
Still here in this flat, waiting for grace. keep thinking if she not gonna come soon ill just take loopy back to lucy. im not waiting forever. i feel a bit panicky at the moment heart keeps racing then slows down dont feel hungry either. still might lose a bit of weight.
Trying to distract myself is the hardest thing to do cant concentrate for long periods i get up to do something only to just forget what it was i was supposed to be doing.
Things are beginning to pick up on ebay, so might grab a bargain or too.
Somethings are in friday ad(although at time of writing this blog nothing sold in fri-ad, has on ebay done very well out of it)hopefully they'll sell.
Then i can move on and make a fresh start think i need it. counselling aswell hope it all helps otherwise cant see how or anything will.
Well she still not here yet IS SHE COMING OR NOT Ill just leave in if she dont( at this point my phone rings and its grace) " ive decided not to come and say goodbye to loopy as far as im concerned i said goodbye when i left" blah blah blah, i then said goodbye and goodluck hope you have a nice life) FUCKING HELL, im a impatient fucker. But then she hasnt bothered in the past so why would she bother now. THE END
(NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED OUT OF RESPECT FOR PEOPLE I KNOW AND CARE ABOUT)
Still here in this flat, waiting for grace. keep thinking if she not gonna come soon ill just take loopy back to lucy. im not waiting forever. i feel a bit panicky at the moment heart keeps racing then slows down dont feel hungry either. still might lose a bit of weight.
Trying to distract myself is the hardest thing to do cant concentrate for long periods i get up to do something only to just forget what it was i was supposed to be doing.
Things are beginning to pick up on ebay, so might grab a bargain or too.
Somethings are in friday ad(although at time of writing this blog nothing sold in fri-ad, has on ebay done very well out of it)hopefully they'll sell.
Then i can move on and make a fresh start think i need it. counselling aswell hope it all helps otherwise cant see how or anything will.
Well she still not here yet IS SHE COMING OR NOT Ill just leave in if she dont( at this point my phone rings and its grace) " ive decided not to come and say goodbye to loopy as far as im concerned i said goodbye when i left" blah blah blah, i then said goodbye and goodluck hope you have a nice life) FUCKING HELL, im a impatient fucker. But then she hasnt bothered in the past so why would she bother now. THE END
(NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED OUT OF RESPECT FOR PEOPLE I KNOW AND CARE ABOUT)
calm
Among the trees gentle demons sneeze.
catch a falling seed for it uncovers its deadly need.
Collect a vision 2 cool my aggression.
A tongue like fire a mind like ice.
Your eyes like angels with faces of long tales.
Hidden stories which do not pass, where faces of delight hide in the long grass.
catch a falling seed for it uncovers its deadly need.
Collect a vision 2 cool my aggression.
A tongue like fire a mind like ice.
Your eyes like angels with faces of long tales.
Hidden stories which do not pass, where faces of delight hide in the long grass.
Tuesday, 31 July 2007
DISTRACT ME FOREVER
The pain in my heart sets me free.
A long lost loving from fallen trees.
Space the final frontier.
lost and free living with animals and dirt
forcing words that only hurt.
Gathering all that is new, bad taste the germs that grew.
Dance with me one last time and together we can be sublime.
imagination is the key to survive the jungle in me.
Snakes and silent grass pay your tolls or never pass.
The river holds all my magical hue
listen carefully as it could be you.
wishful thinking as our planets evovles,
into what you ask? a set of knives and rusty spoons!!!!
Ill take your heart and bury along with arrows and eyes.
Destiny awaits I hold the key, mount your steed and run with me.
Not to fast not to slow face your fears and go for goal.
A system to break a story to tell your choice heaven or hell.
Imagination let your mind run free, a writing of choice turn the key.
Voices of concern scream danger awaits, invalid answer no man no haste.
( TRIP WIRES AND CORSETS)
(HOLD ON TIGHT DONT LET IT IN)
A long lost loving from fallen trees.
Space the final frontier.
lost and free living with animals and dirt
forcing words that only hurt.
Gathering all that is new, bad taste the germs that grew.
Dance with me one last time and together we can be sublime.
imagination is the key to survive the jungle in me.
Snakes and silent grass pay your tolls or never pass.
The river holds all my magical hue
listen carefully as it could be you.
wishful thinking as our planets evovles,
into what you ask? a set of knives and rusty spoons!!!!
Ill take your heart and bury along with arrows and eyes.
Destiny awaits I hold the key, mount your steed and run with me.
Not to fast not to slow face your fears and go for goal.
A system to break a story to tell your choice heaven or hell.
Imagination let your mind run free, a writing of choice turn the key.
Voices of concern scream danger awaits, invalid answer no man no haste.
( TRIP WIRES AND CORSETS)
(HOLD ON TIGHT DONT LET IT IN)
Tea Room silence
One man and his yogurt, sits alone.
Wonder what he's thinking?
Wonder what he dreams?
Is it of cool clear streams!
Or is it one last drink.
Every avenue you see,
belongs to me.
The sound of flight,
even the Bell that rings across the Moor.
From shadows it falls a mist decending upon a openess,
cloaked in a darkness holding more power than you can dress.
A touch will leave you dazed and motionless. Powerless to stop,
it creeps and bites, leaving emptiness in its wake.
Until the glimmer of fresh light appears on the horizon.
Then all is back to normal shadows.
The dark slips back to the hole it came from.
leaving not a sign of its exsistence.
Now the day has arrived bringing colour and faith,
Flowers dance in the breeze, Meadow Grass sings from left to right a sound not unlike a sting.
Birds call fromTree to Tree alongside frolicking Rabbits. While men play with there street balls.
A passing pick me up, languishing through the breeze.
Wonder what he's thinking?
Wonder what he dreams?
Is it of cool clear streams!
Or is it one last drink.
Every avenue you see,
belongs to me.
The sound of flight,
even the Bell that rings across the Moor.
From shadows it falls a mist decending upon a openess,
cloaked in a darkness holding more power than you can dress.
A touch will leave you dazed and motionless. Powerless to stop,
it creeps and bites, leaving emptiness in its wake.
Until the glimmer of fresh light appears on the horizon.
Then all is back to normal shadows.
The dark slips back to the hole it came from.
leaving not a sign of its exsistence.
Now the day has arrived bringing colour and faith,
Flowers dance in the breeze, Meadow Grass sings from left to right a sound not unlike a sting.
Birds call fromTree to Tree alongside frolicking Rabbits. While men play with there street balls.
A passing pick me up, languishing through the breeze.
Sunday, 29 July 2007
leave it all up to me
A man who gets no sleep
lives on a life rich and cheap
He who deserves more from within
is cast aside from his fatefull sins
Glancing inside my own mind
i pull out fine strands of time
leave it all up to me
leave it all up to me
leave it all up to me
Discover your patience and cross
deliver us from cold soil and moss
Beat it down with rage
listen to truth and hold your game
leave it all up to me
leave it all up to me
leave it all up to me
The great fire will tear you aside
a passionate giant will eat you from inside
Your box holds a key so with both hands count one two three.
lives on a life rich and cheap
He who deserves more from within
is cast aside from his fatefull sins
Glancing inside my own mind
i pull out fine strands of time
leave it all up to me
leave it all up to me
leave it all up to me
Discover your patience and cross
deliver us from cold soil and moss
Beat it down with rage
listen to truth and hold your game
leave it all up to me
leave it all up to me
leave it all up to me
The great fire will tear you aside
a passionate giant will eat you from inside
Your box holds a key so with both hands count one two three.
no time to stop
Another day has passed and Im that little bit older, it crept in as the air got colder. Pleasant thoughts, no need to dwell. Be home soon. Shall I pop up too see the family, should do really see how they all are.
Tragic cost of life, what boils down to bricks and pipes. Loaded with no sound dogs bite cat scratch. Bleeding heart merry go round contain the truth.
Dig,cut,flesh,eat,danger,might,cost of it all.
Bend to break,
Mishap,tense,moment,breath,request,help,open,back,flower,conquest,rivalry,damage,source,direct,
exam,breach,pause,evaluate,is,bass,touch.
I felt it inside with both eyes open, just pulled and soaked in.
Firey touch bladed look heaven is here what might sound the same is there no shame.
Disco,tripping,arse,cock,cunt,bollocks,fuck,shit,piss off.
Fuckyou,dick,pussy,vagina,clit,lips,suck,licktease,caress,flick,overwelm,slap,tickle,brush,enjoy,scent,hard,vein,
deep,orgasm,ecstasy,bliss,shiver,expoilt,internal,pleasure,cum,female,ejaculationm,wet,sweat,kiss,envy,
chocolate,intercourse,hard,fast,anal,finger,doggy,missionary,hot,cold,apple,pube,bold,munch....
Tragic cost of life, what boils down to bricks and pipes. Loaded with no sound dogs bite cat scratch. Bleeding heart merry go round contain the truth.
Dig,cut,flesh,eat,danger,might,cost of it all.
Bend to break,
Mishap,tense,moment,breath,request,help,open,back,flower,conquest,rivalry,damage,source,direct,
exam,breach,pause,evaluate,is,bass,touch.
I felt it inside with both eyes open, just pulled and soaked in.
Firey touch bladed look heaven is here what might sound the same is there no shame.
Disco,tripping,arse,cock,cunt,bollocks,fuck,shit,piss off.
Fuckyou,dick,pussy,vagina,clit,lips,suck,licktease,caress,flick,overwelm,slap,tickle,brush,enjoy,scent,hard,vein,
deep,orgasm,ecstasy,bliss,shiver,expoilt,internal,pleasure,cum,female,ejaculationm,wet,sweat,kiss,envy,
chocolate,intercourse,hard,fast,anal,finger,doggy,missionary,hot,cold,apple,pube,bold,munch....
No Sex
Pleasant taste
without no haste
without no haste
Stick of gum
Your point your fun
Your point your fun
a need for grass
your thoughts to fast
your thoughts to fast
embrace me
embrace me
embrace me
embrace me
embrace me
Saturday, 21 July 2007
nothing the same nothing familiar
nothing the same
nothing familiar
until we return to nature!
honest goods, we will bring......
nothing the same
nothing familiar
until we meet again
hear these three words
longing for you.
nothing familiar
until we return to nature!
honest goods, we will bring......
nothing the same
nothing familiar
until we meet again
hear these three words
longing for you.
TWO SIDES
that sound you make
hardly a whisper
the shape you make
no garden rake
golden hair gently falls
as a town bell tolls
the light shines through petty coat
from heavy downpours
to the bone i choke
hardly a whisper
the shape you make
no garden rake
golden hair gently falls
as a town bell tolls
the light shines through petty coat
from heavy downpours
to the bone i choke
a bus to work.
This bus is a strange place in the mornings so quiet the afternoons to noisy. people reading newspapers others listening to music possibly thinking about there day. the funniest ones are asleep completely oblivious to those around them, sweet dreams. the morning today is sunny no coat today just me my bag and my money. now the weather is here the pikeys are back my ancestors who everyone fears time to move on when we have come so near. broken down bikes and garden plots kick out the bad and stop the rot. tea time will not last long think about one last song sing it with me sing it with me..
EATEN DREAMS
cat on my lap
as the chorus claps
fire on soldiers dance
the battle cry caught in a stance
beat the merry go round
weigh in pound for pound
tighten you gloves
score on points for easy love
know your name
know your name
as the chorus claps
fire on soldiers dance
the battle cry caught in a stance
beat the merry go round
weigh in pound for pound
tighten you gloves
score on points for easy love
know your name
know your name
This is all new to me, I apologise for any spelling errors in advance, these pages Will be a way of letting <> know my thoughts and feelings.Please feel free to leave your comments.. Alot of it will be just raw and uncut. dont like to mess around with commas and full stops I think there just a bit intrusive to how I really feel. Over time I will release my deepest darkest thoughts. You might even get to see who I am. But you have to be a friendly honest person. who is willing to share there own thoughts with me. If your even luckier you might actually get to meet the<<<<<<TREVOUR>>>>>. The ultimate alias I like to go by, only my closest friends know who he is. But for now you may call me the <<<<<<<SILVASHADOW>>>>>>>. please feel free to leave your own thoughts on here and if your lucky ill get back to you.
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